The Biggest Obstacle to Your Success

What is The Biggest Obstacle to Your Success?

To understand what this is, it’s important to know what you want in the first place. Some people want to have a romantic, happy relationship. Others want success in their business. Some people want to make a contribution to others. Some wish to be better parents. Some people want all of this.

Create a Vision

To create success for yourself – in your business and in your personal life – it’s vital that you create a vision of what you want (what makes you come alive and lights you on fire) and then identify the first steps you need to take in order to realize that vision. That’s the first step. The second step is to uncover the challenges you might encounter (or are already encountering) along the way to fulfilling your vision. This is where people will bring up all sorts of obstacles: their spouse, other people, the market, not enough time, not enough money, not enough leads, etc. The list is really endless.

The Biggest Obstacle to Your Success

For most people, however, the biggest challenge they face – The Biggest Obstacle to Your Success – is not what’s going on around them or what other people might be doing or not doing. For most people, their biggest challenge is what they focus on, what they think about habitually, and what they believe deep down (which is very different from some convenient and canned answer such as, “I can do anything”).

Suppose your first step is to take your Real Estate exam and you’re thinking, “It’s too difficult,” “I can’t focus,” or “I’m not good at this,” what are the chances you’ll succeed? Likewise, let’s say your first step is to meet a romantic partner, and you’re thinking to yourself, “I’m too fat,” or “I’m too tall, too short, too shy or not very attractive.” Again… what are the chances you’ll succeed? Exactly. So, while the first step is to create your vision and decide on the steps to fulfilling that vision, the second step is to recognize what is really holding you back and to move away from those self-limiting beliefs toward thoughts, beliefs and emotions that will make it possible for you to achieve what it is that you really wish to achieve.

Have a Consequence

So how can you do this? On the one hand, it’s not easy because these ideas have been ingrained in you for years, programmed into your subconscious mind by people from your past. On the other hand, it’s not that difficult to change them. One effective way of doing so is to have a consequence that involves some sort of pain or unpleasantness, so that you’d much rather give up the thoughts than experience the consequences.

An example of this comes from the story of a woman who was obese and needed to lose weight for obvious health reasons. The trouble was, she was absolutely certain that she couldn’t give up her addiction to cookies. It was completely beyond her control. She was in complete agreement with both her doctor and her coach that she needed lose weight and create better health for herself. Yet she was adamant that she couldn’t give up her addiction. So, her coach came up with an idea that could, at the very least, have her experience a positive as a result of this addiction. His instructions were simple: On any day that she ate more than two cookies, she was to bake two dozen cookies from scratch. No mixes. From there she was to deliver these cookies to a local women’s shelter. Naturally, she had several cookies the following day and proceeded to follow the directions given by her coach.

This happened for many days. The women at the shelter came to really appreciate her cookies, and she made many friends there. In fact, her cookies were such a hit, that she began operating a successful business, making cookies and delivering them to local farmer’s markets. The best part? Because she was baking all day long, she started to become nauseated by the smell of cookies. She stopped eating them. 

And she lost the weight.

So you can see that any belief we have – as factual as it may seem – is changeable.

Action Steps

Here are two things you can do to begin to change any limiting belief for yourself and overcome The Biggest Obstacle to Your Success.

1) First, take a moment to decide what your top one or two limiting beliefs are. This can be tricky for some people at first, but keep in mind that these limiting belief are usually things we repeat habitually to ourselves such as, “I’m not good at meeting new people,” or “I don’t have enough time,” or “I can’t do this,” etc. These beliefs become akin to a spell that we cast over our own lives and our potential to have and become all of which we’re capable.

Once you uncover these top two limiting beliefs, re-write them as their polar opposite. For example, you might say, “I’m getting better and better at meeting new people,” or “I find the time to do everything I need to,” or “It’s going to be okay. I can do this.” Once you decide on these new incantations, see if you can’t commit to reciting them every time the limiting or negative incantation comes up. In fact, a great way to do this is to stop immediately (even if you’re in the middle of something you can simply do this in your mind) and repeat the new phrase 10 times. The catch, though, is to make it more than just another affirmation. It needs to become a sort of spell – an incantation – that will move you forward. How? Convince yourself that it is real already. Use as much emotion as possible. Get behind the new belief.

2) The second thing you can do right away is to make a list of everything that is great about you. This can include physical characteristics, attributes, knowledge, etc. Just make sure that you include every strength that you can find. Now, take this list, and re-write it every day. It should only take a couple minutes of your time to do so. The trick, of course, is fuel this with as much emotion as possible. Feel the reality of each item on the list as you re-write them. Feel your gratitude for each item.

Follow these two steps for a week or two and see what happens.

Once you’ve started to practice the above habits, please leave a comment in the comments section to share your thoughts and insights. Just by doing that, you take your commitment and accountability to an entirely new level and you may just inspire someone else to do the same. 

Thanks for your comments!

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