The Secret to Finding Fulfillment

What is the secret to finding fulfillment in your life?

It’s simple, really.  The secret to living a life where you are thriving, instead go just surviving, is to give.  Sound cliché?  Only if you don’t understand how it really works and the simple psychology behind it.  If you really want to receive something in your life, start by giving it.  Want love?  Attention?  Affection? Joy?  Happiness?  Start by causing someone else to feel those things.

I’m not talking about going out to your local shelter or finding some cause for which to volunteer (though both of those are viable, worthwhile options should you feel drawn to move in either direction).  What I’m referring to here, is your daily, moment-to-moment choices.  Honestly… take a moment to put down your damn iPhone and really talk to your kids!  Or reach out, grab your spouse and kiss him or her like when you were first dating – with some PASSION!  It can be even simpler than that – whenever you pass someone at work or on the street, try connecting… by smiling.

Most of us spend the majority of our lives moving at top speed just get from point A to point B.  But why?  In the end, what is it going to matter?  Most of us are trying soooo hard just to manage our lives that we are anything but thriving.  It’s time to WAKE UP!  You’re here for more than that!  The truth is that you will feel more alive than you’ve ever felt if you can reach deep down inside and find a way to authentically give to another person – to make a real difference for them in a way that they can truly take in.  Don’t don’t take the bullshit approach that you’re giving here and there and everywhere, that you give to every person possible – if you’re struggling in any way, you’re not really giving.  You’re just giving to get.  Have a look inside and be honest: you’re giving to get recognition.  Or attention.  Or to feel worthy.  Or appreciated.  Loved.  Whatever.  You get the point.

If you can start by truly giving – without any hint of subtle expectation – then whether you help a stranger or someone you love or one of your clients, the help that you are offering them comes from a place of abundance.  “But, Shawn, how can I possibly give love to someone when I barely get any myself?”  Well, with that attitude, no wonder you barely get any.  When you’re operating from a place of scarcity, even when you do give of yourself, how can you ever expect anything more than scarcity to be returned to you?  Yet, that’s what so many of us do the majority of our lives.

If you feel that you are in the throes of scarcity know this: the most vital time to help someone else genuinely is when you need it most.  When you give authentically of yourself, you get to feel whatever it is that you are giving.  So, the very next time your feeling low, or stressed or depressed, find someone who is even more worse off than yourself and figure out what you can do to make a difference for them.  Honestly, if you can do this, I guarantee it will change your mood, your energy levels, your emotional state, your state of mind, and even the way your body feels.  Cool, eh?  Truth be told, I’ve experienced this shift many times over, myself (and I’ve helped many clients make this incredible transformation, too).  I’ve also experienced not doing this and it sucks because you just perpetuate whatever negative state you’ve got going on (and the stinkin’ thinkin’ that goes with it).  If you can bring yourself to do this – and admittedly  it takes a little balls to get over oneself – you’ll find yourself thriving in ways you never even imagined that goes far beyond just you.

This is true when your feeling doubtful in any way whatsoever – you need to take the steps necessary to remind yourself that you are the Creator of your life – NOT the manager.  Learn to put yourself in a state of certainty, give what it is you want to receive, get crystal clear on your vision for your life, decide you’re going to go after it (what else are you here for?), and then take MASSIVE action toward what you want.  You can start right now.  Change your mindset by finding five things that you can be grateful for right this moment.  What’s great about right now?  How does this help?  Keep in  mind that everything you list as being great is the result of some past decision you made that you took action toward.  You created it.  You made it happen, so you can do it again.

Our lives are a mirror – for what’s going on inside of us.  And what’s going on inside of us dictates how we spend our day – whether we’re fully aware of it or not.  Our rituals.  Take a look at your rituals.  Which ones are working?  Which ones aren’t?  When you do this, focus on things you can change that are within your control – like giving more.  Be your own HERO.  After all, in most instances, you are the Divine Intervention – that is the power you’ve been given.

Now… what are you going to do with that power?

 

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